LA GALAXY 2011 FULL SEASON REVIEW. Or at least the games Mark and me went to.

We started off the season with a 1-0 win at Seattle Sounders, but seeing me and Mark didn't go to that one we won't bother with it as this blog entry is to concentrate on only the games we attended.

Sun March 20 vs NEW ENGLAND REVOLUTION @HDC 1-1 T
We kicked off the home season opener with a monsoon, it rained heavily and steadily all day, we were drenched and watched the G's contest a 1-1 draw. We did have a perfectly good goal disallowed when the Rev's keeper dropped the ball and Juninho poked the ball home. He did score the goal that counted as well, it was definitely a case of 2 points dropped though.
Season opener in the monsoon.

Sat March 26 vs REAL SALT LAKE @Rio Tinto 1-4 L
I did a blog about this trip earlier on in the season, it was a great weekend apart from the game. We got our butt's kicked and the season at this point didn't look too promising. We also froze our arse off up in the top of the stands in mormonland, the best decision was bringing a cooler full of proper beer as the stuff they sell up there is like gnat's piss.
Galaxians in Mormonland


Rio Tinto stadium in Utah, quite nice actually.

Sat April 2 vs PHILADELPHIA UNION @HDC 1-0 W
We brought our friends David, Jessica and Carrie to the game. I made my famous pasties and they were probably better than the match. We won 1-0 though, which is the main thing, with a rare Leonardo goal.
Before the Philadelphia game.

Sat April 23 vs PORTLAND TIMBERS @HDC 3-0 W
This was obviously one of our better performances of the season, we won 3-0 thanks to two Landon Donovan goals and Chad Barrett's first of the season. We pretty much did turn Portland over and it could have been much worse for them, but I'll take a 3-0 win any day of the week.

Fellow Galaxians.

Sat May 7 vs NEW YORK RED BULLS @HDC 1-1 T
To be honest this was probably the right result, it could have gone either way, but I was happy with a draw in the end as NY pressured us right up until the final whistle.
The Galaxy had hardly set the league alight at this point in the season, but we were still top of the Western Conference and only lost one game so far.
Fellow Galaxians

Sat May 14 vs SPORTING KANSAS CITY @HDC 4-1 W
Another one of those rare occasions this season when the Galaxy actually looked likea proper team. Landon grabbed another brace, Beckham scored a cracking free kick and even the normally useless Juan Pablo Angel got one.

Galaxians before the game.

Sat May 21 vs CHIVAS USA @HDC (Away) 1-0 W
It wasn't the best game, but it's always nice to win the derby or the Super Clasico as the natives call it. I love the away game at our home, they stick us in the corner and it is a good laugh taunting Shitvas fans all day.

Before the Shitvas match

After the Shitvas match.

Wed May 25 vs HOUSTON DYNAMO @HDC 1-0 W
Not really much to write about, Landon scored his 8th goal in the last seven games and I made the first leg of the journey via trian as I met Mark in Burbank.

Fri June 3 vs D.C. UNITED @HDC 0-0 T
Another shocker, oh well at least we didn't lose.


Sat June 11 vs TORONTO FC @HDC 2-2 T
We were cruising in this thanks to Birchall's only goal for the Galaxy and an Angel effort, but useless Galaxy reject Alan Gordon picks the wrong time to grab a brace at the HDC and sends us home gutted especially with the one in injury time. This game will be forever remembered for the one I dragged Kellie to on her birthday, she still hasn't forgiven me.

Sat June 25 vs SAN JOSE EARTHQUAKES @Buck Shaw "Stadium" 0-0 T
A crap game really, decent piss up for the weekend though. Most notable because we used 3 goalkeepers during the game. Ricketts went off with a broken arm, then Saunders got sent off for a run in with that curly headed twat Leinhart, up steps Mike Magee and keeps the smurfs at bay for over half of the game. Legend!!!
LOL @ San Jose, you'll never beat Magee.

Tues June 28 vs LA BLUES @Cal State Fullerton 2-1 W
It was the open cup, they scored first but goals from Omar and Mike Magee got us the "come from behind" win.

Face in the crowd against the LA Blues in the Open Cup game.

Mon July 4 vs SEATTLE SOUNDERS @HDC 0-0 T
The highlights of this day was the curry I made and brought to the Galaxian pot luck, meeting up with crazy Middlesbrough man Eric Goodall again for a chat and the pk save Brian Perk made on his MLS debut.
Junior Galaxians

Sat July 9 vs CHICAGO FIRE @HDC 2-1 W
After what seemed like an eternity the Galaxy finally recorded a home win in the MLS. It wasn't pretty but goals from Beckham and Donavon were enough for the three points.

Owen drumming up some support.

Sat July 16 vs REAL MADRID @LA Coliseum 1-4 L
I wasn't here thank God, we went up to San Francisco to watch Man City beat Club America instead.
Wed July 20 vs COLUMBUS CREW @HDC 1-0 W
A Sean Franklin goal saw us take the points in yet another 1-0 win. Can't remember much else about the game to be honest.

Sun July 24 vs MANCHESTER CITY @HDC 1-1 T (MCFC win 5-4 on pk's)
Blogged about it earlier, Owen's first City game. A great day out in the blazing sun.

Galaxy v Man City


Sat July 30 vs VANCOUVER WHITECAPS @Vancouver 4-0 W
A great win and well worth the trip up to Canada (See full blog in August archives)


Us with Chris Birchall in Vancouver.

Wed August 3 vs PORTLAND TIMBERS @Portland 0-3 L
If the Vancouver game was an example of the highs of following your team away, then the Portland game was the perfect example of the lows of following your team away. We were terrible and it could have been a hell of a lot worse had it not been for Josh Saunders. Still nice to visit another stadium though.
Outside Jeld Wen stadium in Portland, never let a bad result get in the way of a great week.

Sat August 6 vs FC DALLAS @HDC 3-1 W
The G's put that dreadful Portland game behind them with another decent performance with goals from Omar, Juninho and Magee. We appear to be playing a lot better now with Franklin giving us an extra attacking option on the right of midfield.
Owen and friends

Tues August 16 vs CLUB MOTAGUA @HDC 2-0 W
A good start to our CCL campaign against the Hondurans with goals from Cristman and Landon. The Yanks don't seem to take these games seriously though as the HDC was just about two thirds empty. In other news, we have just signed Robbie Keane and got rid of the useless Juan Pablo Angel in the process, not in time to make his debut tonight though.

Sat August 30 vs SAN JOSE EARTHQUAKES @HDC 2-0 W
The hype surrounding this game was all about Robbie Keane's MLS debut, he scored along with Magee to send the smurfs home complaining that they actually deserved to win and that the MLS refs are biased towards the Galaxy and their superstars. I read that on the Big Soccer forum. Refs weren't biased up in San Jose were they? Plus I have lost count of how many times we get dodgy decisions against us at the HDC, certainly more than go in our favour anyway.


The other G's mob.

Thurs August 25 vs LD ALAJUELENSE @HDC 2-0 W
Another win in the CCL, can't remember where this lot are from so I'll say Costa Rico for the sake of arguing. Goal from Omar and Magee again (He's on fire don't you know?)
Errrr......

Fri September 9 vs COLORADO RAPIDS @HDC 1-0 W
Another 1-0 win thanks to a Landon Donovan goal.
It's getting like Chelsea under Mourinho's first season with all these 1-0 victories, not complaining though, still top of the West.
Owen and friends again

Sat September 17 vs VANCOUVER WHITECAPS @HDC 3-0 W
Another great game against the worst team in the west. 7-0 on aggregate for the season, can we play you every week?
Two Magee goals (I told you he was on fire) and and Robbie Keane effort are enough for the 3 points.


With Eric and Mike (Thor)

Wed September 28 vs MONARCAS MORELIA @HDC 2-1 W
After losing our 2 away games in the CCL this was a must win against the Mexicans to stay alive, we gave up a dodgy goals but came back through Magee and Juninho in stoppage time to send the noisy visiting fans home empty handed.

Even the Miss Galaxy court are Galaxians


Sat October 1 vs REAL SALT LAKE @HDC 2-1 W
This was a close one, but the win was enough to give us the supporter shield for the second year in a row. For all my English friends, the supporters shield basically means that you finish with the best record in the league, but it counts for fuck all. You still have to compete in the play offs and win the MLS Cup in order to be crowned champions which means technically the team that is the 10th best on the last day of the season can still go on to be MLS champions. Crazy huh?

Mark and me with the Supporters Shield.

Sun October 16 vs CHIVAS USA @HDC (Home) 1-0 W
Chad Barrett the "goatbuster" struck again as we did the double against our hated rivals and renters and paraded the supporters shield in front of them and Juan Pablo Angel.
I had high hopes for Angel at the start of the season, his goal scoring record in the MLS spoke for itself, but he came to us and didn't fit in. He seemed lazy, slower than me and useless in the air. Don't get me wrong, I bear him no ill will, I was just glad to see the back of him.
Bring on the play offs!!!!!!

Me and Owen with a Miss Galaxy court member.

Western Conference Semi Final:
Thurs November 3 vs NEW YORK RED BULLS @HDC 2-1 W (3-1 on aggregate)
After a ill tempered 1-0 win up in NYC (Magee again), the stage was set for a nervous 90 minutes. We were missing Juninho who was red carded after that dick Marquez threw the ball at Landon after the final whistle in the first leg.
NY scored first when Luke (Mini me) Rogers leveled the tie after 15 minutes.
It was nearly all Galaxy after that and when Magee headed to ball home from a Beckham corner you could see the stuffing knocked out of the Red Bulls.
Beckham was brought down in the NY box late in the second half, Landon converted the pk and we were into the Western Conference Final.

Western Conference Final
Sun November 6 vs REAL SALT LAKE @HDC 3-1 W
I brought along my mate David and fellow Wedding Present guitarist Graeme visiting from Scotland along for this game. I remarked to David that he has probably been to more Galaxy games than Man United matches by now (his third so far), that raised a good chuckle from Graeme.

During the game.

We had a bit of rain, ate chicken curried pasties, drank quite a bit and watched tha Galaxy trounced the normally awkward RSL, to almost make up for losing the final to them 2 years ago. It was nice to avenge our defeat in Utah early in the season though. The Galaxy were pretty rampant in this one and could easily have scored more if it weren't for Nick Rimando making a few good saves and us finishing poorly.
On to the final, the entire season hangs on one game and Houston awaits us.
After the RSL game

MLS CUP 2011:
Sun November 20 vs HOUSTON DYNAMO @HDC 1-0 W
We ended the season as we started it at the Home Depot Center, in the middle of an all day down pour. It was another truly miserable day, only saved by my awesome free Volkswagon poncho and the free flowing beer that we consumed.
Before the final in the Monsoon part deux.

The game itself wasn't much of a spectacle, we were pretty poor and Houston were even worse. I think they only managed one shot on target all day which is pathetic for a cup final. We did have most of the possession and were the better team. Robbie Keane had the ball in the net, but it was harshly ruled offside as TV replays proved he was level when Landon passed him the ball.
10 minutes later though Beckham flicked on a Franklin pass and Keane held off a defender before threading the ball through to Landon who slotted in past Hall and just inside the far post. We went mental and the HDC was rocking at the final whistle as we were crowned champions.
A 1-0 win was a fitting end to our 1-0 win riddled season, we had a great time following the Galaxy home and away this year, roll on next season.
With or without Beckham, I can't help feeling that we'll be a better team next year.

Owen with the "Cup"

Landon Donovan and David Beckham with the MLS Cup.

Coach Bruce Arena with the MLS Cup.

I LOVE YOU DAVID SILVA!!!!!!

Just saying.

LA Galaxy Fans Q&A Number Ten. SCOTT MITCHELL

The latest victim, who was a complete straggler in completing his Q&A (But not the worst) is Scott Mitchell. Scott is another of the many fine people we have met on our travels supporting the LA Galaxy, he is a mellow chap, a great sport and him and his lovely wife Michelle are two of the nicest people you could ever meet. They even named their first born son after me.
(That last sentence "might" not be true)





Q1. How did you first get into the Galaxy and what was the first game you attended?
I’ve played soccer since I was 6. I’ve always been interested in going to professional games, but never quite made it out to a game. The first Galaxy game (and first pro soccer match) I ever went to was Galaxy v. Chelsea in 2008 (Beckham’s first game). Getting the tickets was kind of a fluke.

At work, they were auctioning off tickets to 2 Galaxy games, one on a Saturday and one on a Tuesday. The Beckham move had been announced, but no info about when he would start playing. My gut told me he would make his debut at the Tuesday game vs. Chelsea, so I bought $20 worth of tickets and shoved them in the box. About 15 minutes later they pulled my ticket and I was the proud owner of 4 tickets in Section 112 Row H (yes, those are the premium seats) right behind the Chelsea bench. They were later selling on Stub Hub for at least $250 per ticket. It was a great game and my brother even caught a ball one of the players kicked into the crowd as a free giveaway (he basically snatched it right before an 8 year old in the row behind us caught it and paid the price with a nasty cut on his shin from one of the armrests).



Q2. Name your favourite five Galaxy players of all time?
1. Donovan Ricketts – I’m partial to goalkeepers….we stick together.
2. Landon Donovan – Mr. Reliable…always there with a good touch and able to get the team fired up when things aren’t going right.
3. Josh Saunders – the best backup goalie around. We’re lucky no other team has tried to pick him up.
4. Mike Magee – always seems to come up with amazing plays right when they are needed. Plus, he stepped into goal without hesitation during that awful game in San Jose…and kept the shutout alive down a man.
5. Bryan Jordan – often overlooked with so much talent on the team, Jordan is a great all around player. Definitely not a superstar, but he can play any position well and has contributed quite a bit lately despite his limited playing time.

I know there have been many other greats in the past, but I like to focus on the here and now. Many other current players could be named here (especially Juninho), but I’ll leave it here.


Q3. What is your normal preparation/routine when attending a Galaxy game?
Leave home in Brea 2 to 2.5 hours before game time. Beers in the parking lot with Michelle, Nada, Carlos, Fredy, Dexter, Amilkar, Andy, and whoever else happens to be coming with any of us. Occasionally throw a BBQ or hooka into the mix. Start walking into the stadium at game time.





Q4. Do you follow any other footy teams?
Newcastle United – Sorry, Andy


Q5. Name five footy teams that you hate the most?
Just added to the top of the list – NY Red Bulls
Chivas USA
Real Salt Lake
Arsenal
San Jose Earthquakes


Q6. Describe the best Galaxy performance you attended?
May 8, 2010 away game at Seattle. It was slated to be a fairly even game, but we ended up on top with a 4-0 pounding. The Sounders’ performance was so bad that management refunded all the season ticket holders for that day’s ticket price. It also happened to be the day I met my wife Michelle, and her friends Fredy, Dexter, and Kat, so it has a special place in my heart.


Q7. Describe the worst?
Our 2010 Playoff 3-0 loss to Dallas. I remember a feeling of overwhelming hopelessness watching that game. It just seemed like nothing was going right; they scored early, our passes were off, most of our shots were off target, Hartman did a great job handling the ones that were on target, and our guys were frustrated. Not a good way to finish up a Supporter Shield season.


Q8. Has the Beckham signing been better for Beckham, the Galaxy or the MLS?
I think it’s been good for the Galaxy, MLS, and Beckham, in that order.
The Galaxy have gotten tons of publicity from day 1 which has definitely helped with revenue generation from ticket sales, merchandise, and better TV coverage (it’s nice that nearly all of their games, including home games, are televised nationally…definitely was not the case a few years ago). The team’s game has definitely improved with Beckham present in the middle (I notice a marked difference in games where he’s absent), and it seems that he has shared a lot of knowledge from his many years in top level competition with the younger players. Always good to have that kind of experience on board when it doesn’t come with a hugely inflated ego (i.e. Henry).

MLS has also received a great deal of publicity that was not necessarily present before Beckham’s arrival. Since that time, the league seems to be taking off with new expansion teams, bigger and better TV deals, and the ability to bring more big names to the league since then (Henry, Angel, Marquez, Keane, etc.). It also seems like many of the very talented younger players are a bit more hesitant to leave the MLS to go play in Europe. It’s not totally clear whether these changes are a direct result of Beckham’s presence or a general increase in the number of fans and followers of soccer in general, but I think both play in to it.

Beckham has also benefitted financially from his initial deal with the Galaxy and all of the marketing deals that came along with it. And, let’s face it, he was getting toward the end of his European playing career. It was a great move to come over here and potentially extend his career by a couple of years and highly increase the potential for some kind of show biz career after his playing days are over. The whole controversy with the England national team was a bit of a hubbub over nothing. I wasn’t too upset about him playing for AC Milan in the off season, because representing his country obviously meant a lot to him. That is, until he decided to stay past Galaxy opening day. It kinda sucks that he got injured…I would have liked to see him play in the World Cup.






Q9. Do you follow any other sports and if so, what teams?
Soccer is king! I occasionally watch American football and like the Steelers, but wouldn’t say I go out of my way to watch games or follow everything that’s going on with the team.


Q10. Do you play footy, what position and are you any good?
I’ve played since I was 6 years old. As a youngster I played everything but ended up settling in defense as I got older. Around 12 years old I started playing goalie and have played it exclusively ever since. For the past few years its been predominantly indoor soccer, though I occasionally fill in for outdoor teams. I like indoor much better because of the constant action.


Q11. What's with the rivalry between Galaxy supporters groups?
I don’t get it, but don’t really care. I know people in all of them and they all seem like decent people wanting the same thing. Let’s just get along already. Actually, I’d like start a new group on the south end (our tix are in 142). Trying to think of a good name…..


Q12. Have you ever been involved in any aggro at the match? Galaxy or otherwise?
No, seen plenty though. Nada and some lady got into a pretty heated argument over the PUTO chant because the lady thought it was disrespectful.




Q13. How do you think the MLS compares with other leagues around the world?
MLS is still trying to find its place and figure out what works. Its tough to compete against leagues that have 100+ years of history, but I think we’re catching up very quickly. The talent has improved greatly over the past few years, but I think consistency is still lacking. There have been recent (non-Galaxy) games that I stumbled across on TV and thought, “Holy crap! Is that a bunch of 10 year olds kicking the ball around?” There are certain teams this applies to more than others, but again, I think it will phase out over time.


Q14. Club before country?
YES, though I do like watching the US and support them as much as possible.


Q15. Almost every Galaxy fan I speak to wishes that Chivas USA were gone from the HDC, where would you like to see them end up?
San Diego sounds good. They could probably build up a better more reliable fan base down there.


Q16. Favourite away stadium? (MLS or otherwise)
Seattle. The fans (everybody in the city seems to be a fan) are so into it, but all very nice to visiting fans.





Q17. Least favourite away stadium? (MLS or otherwise)
San Jose. Feels like the crappy wooden bleachers are going to collapse with the ACB/Riot Squad/Galaxians/unaffiliated jumping around. And the cops give you a bunch of crap for wearing the other jersey. Hopefully, they get their new stadium built soon.


Q18. If you could change anything about the Galaxy organisation what would it/they be?
They’ve been doing much better lately, but better enticements/treatment of season ticketholders would be nice. We’ve been invited to several player signing events in the past couple years and Bryan Jordan has been there at least 3 times. I love the guy, but how about getting some variety, and maybe even Beckham or Donovan once in a while.

Also, they need to do more to alter the agreement between HDC and CSUDH. The limited capacity for a playoff game is a joke (couldn’t they do some kind of offsite parking and bus fans in if needed) and the recent crackdown on tailgating is ridiculous. There are always groups that cause problems at these things, but the majority of the people are just there having a good time.


Q19. What changes would you make to the MLS?
The whole playoff scheme is something the league needs to work on. If they’re going to do it, they need to do it right so that it’s truly the best teams from the whole season competing for the title. And they need to make sure there’s enough of a break in between ALL of the playoff games. It seems ridiculous to have 2 days off between the conference finals and semifinals, then 2 weeks off until the Cup game. In the long run, it would be nice to get enough teams participating to put a relegation scheme into place.


Q20. What's the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you at the match?
I’m sure there have been a couple moments when I had a few too many, but this one sticks out in my mind (and I hadn’t even had a beer yet). I had bought tickets and food to make carne asada for a group of 25 or 30 before a game. I spent an hour packing everything up, remembering every detail down to the plates, plastic ware, and BBQ tools. We show up, start unloading the bountiful feast, I fire up the BBQ and start searching for the meat. It was nowhere to be found….8 lbs of carne asada was sitting at home in the fridge. Luckily, some folks were still on the way and stopped at the store, but could only find unmarinated meat. We ended up with Corona and lime marinated beef tacos…not too bad. On the bright side, my family and I got to eat carne asada for the next week.

Q21. Funniest thing you has seen at the match?
Magee playing goal in San Jose. He did a great job, but it was very entertaining to watch somebody with no GK training wearing a shirt 3 sizes too big. It was something out of a pee wee soccer match. And it was at San Jose, so the setting could very easily have fooled anybody.

Q22. Finally, how do you see the season ending for the LA Galaxy this year?
Supporters Shield, destroy everyone in the playoffs to win the trophy at home. (Andy, This was written a month ago)

***Sure Scott***





Great job Scott, it was well worth waiting for.
Also, I know I do tease you quite a lot about being a Newcastle fan, but to your credit at least you chose to support a proper team and didn't jump on the ManU/Chelsea/Liverpool/Arsenal bandwagon.

The Demolition Derby

It's nearly been a week since we stuffed the Scum at the Swamp.
I watched the game at 5.30am last Sunday and despite a bit of a shaky start from City, the fire starter himself, Mario Balotelli put us 1-0 up against the run of play with an exquisite finish from the edge of the box.
True to form he then got booked for displaying his "Why always me?" t-shirt, those are the rules so no argument from me.



Still, it is a rubbish rule though, football is a game of passion and as long as players aren't inciting the opposition, they need to abolish this one.
The goal rattled U****d and we started to dominate, I think they were glad to see the half time whistle.
A minute into the second Balotelli was played through by the magnificent David Silva and hauled down by the always terrible Johnny Evans on the edge of the box, he was sent off for his sins which really was the turning point.
Some might argue that the ref ruined a potentially great game by sending Evans off and a yellow might have been more appropriate, but those red cunts can fuck right off, he deserved to go, end of story.
The one man advantage suited City down to the ground, Silva and Milner ran the show, their link up play for Balotelli's second goal was as good as you'll see all season.
Micah Richards was marauding up and down the right like nobody's business and soon overlapped, setting up Aguero for the third.
Darren Fletcher scored a corker (He always seems to score against us) to give U****d fans a bit of a false dawn on the 81st minute.
We then subbed Super Mario for Dzeko and he could have had a hat trick until he finally scuffed the 4th in off his knee via a Lescott knock back.
Vincent Kompany's four fingered salute to the blues in the corner as they celebrated the goal was a classic.
Silva and Edin took over in time added on with Dzeko putting Silva through to nutmeg the doughnut thief and then Silva repaid him with the pass of the season to make it 6-1.




Six fucking one against those twats at the swamp, needless to say, I screamed the house down.
Before the game I was kind of hoping for a draw and even thought that being just one point behind them at this point of the season if we lost wouldn't be so bad.
But typical City, we stuffed them and sit five points clear.
Could it be our year? Who knows? But that result whatever happens, will be the highlight of the season, unless we do them 10-0 at ours.
And with 45 goals in 15 games, you never know.


***Click on photo for better view***

Robbie Keane??? You're 'aving a laugh.

Robbie goes to Hollywood.


So Robbie Keane signed for the Galaxy this week.
Very exciting news for all Galaxy fans especially me as the bugger always seemed to score against City.
Can't wait for the game against SJ Earthquakes tonight, as we haven't beaten them in our last five attempts.
I'm predicting he will at least double Angel's pathetic return of three goals before the season is up.
I was quite happy when we signed Angel, but he turned out to be uninterested and absolutely dreadful.
We are so much better off with Robbie, this puts us in a good position to win the supporters shield and hopefully the MLS Cup.
I'll keep you posted.


***EDIT***
Robbie did score on his debut against the Smurfs from San Jose. He looked tired in the second half though, but it was a decent first game. Looks a bit rusty and not 100% fit, but he can only improve as the season goes on.


Robbie Keane on his Galaxy debut versus SJ Earthquakes.

Fucking Hell... it's Mark E. Smith!!!!!

They say that you should never meet your heroes, well I don't know who 'they' are but I've met a few of mine and they were for the most part, pretty nice.
There is one that I have been a fan of for as long as I can remember, Mr. Mark E. Smith of Mancunian indie legends The Fall. Mark had a reputation of being a bit a of a miserable twat and a typical no nonsense Manc who will speak his mind and not care for the consequences. A bit like me really.
Anyway I have seen The Fall in concert quite a lot, I remember seeing them play The Roxy in L.A. and Courtney Love (of Hole) tried to get onto their tour bus.
She was making a bit of a big deal of it, trying to get past one of the Fall's crew members.
"What's going on?" came a distinctly Mancunian voice from the back of the bus.
"It's Courtney Love Mark, she wants to get onto the bus to chat to you" said the roadie.
"Tell her to fuck off" replied Mark, clearly not in the mood for the Queen of grunge.
With that, a speechless (for once) Courtney Love turned around and skulked back down Sunset Blvd, obviously gobsmacked and humiliated. It made my fucking night.

The first time I actually 'met' MES was at the Echo in L.A. Just as I walked into the tiny venue, I needed a piss and walked straight into him coming out of the bogs. "Fucking hell, it's Mark E Smith" I said semi-quoting Halfman Halfbiscuit.
"How are you doing Mark?" I said all star struck and thrusting my hand out in his direction.
"Alright cocker" he replied while shaking my hand and walking back to the dressing room.
It was over in two seconds, I recounted this to Kellie and said "I won't wash my hand for a week"
"But what if he hadn't washed his hands after using the bathroom?" she asked.
"Even better" I replied.

A couple of years later The Fall returned to Southern California and I purchased tickets for two gigs in L.A. and one in Pomona which I was to attend with my old friend Chris Zych who after years of me harassing him into listening to The Fall had finally relented and got into them. I think this was to be his first Fall gig, but I might be wrong.

So I drove to Pomona and met Chris, we had a few hours to kill so decided to find somewhere to eat and have a couple of beers. While exploring Pomona we passed a music shop and saw MES and his lovely wife Eleni buying some musical equipment. We knocked gently on the window and gave a nonchalant wave. He returned the favour.

On a side note, I must point out that during this tour there had been a mutiny between the Fall band members and MES. According to music press reports, during drunken exchanges, threats were dished out, a knife 'might' have been pulled, punches thrown and the band quit, leaving Mark and Eleni alone in Arizona.
Mark recruited the members of L.A. band Darker my Love to fill in for the rest of the tour. A certain recipe for disaster and to be honest typical Fall and MES.


Chris and I settled on a Mexican restaurant, it was a bit of a dive, but we were hungry. After eating we moved over to the bar and decided to have a couple of games of pool in order to pass some more time.
After about 10 minutes, MES and Eleni walked into the restaurant and sat down to eat.
We clearly noticed, but left them in peace.
After a while Mark went outside for a smoke, then I noticed him staring at us through the window. I didn't really think anything of it, but seconds later he walked back into the restaurant and made a beeline for me and Chris.
"Have you got a light lads?" he asked sheepishly
"Sorry Mark" I replied, "neither of us smokes"
He seemed a bit taken aback, either by the recognition or my Mancunian accent or both.
"Fucking hell, where are you from?"
"Manchester Mark, Middleton, just the other side of Heaton
Park from you"
"Oh yeah" he said "We just played at the Civic"
We pointed him in the direction of the free matches on the bar and he went back outside to finish his cigarette.
After they finished eating they came over to the pool tables.
"Can I buy you two a drink Mark?"
"Sure, what do they have?"
"Mexican beer" I think I probably got them Bohemia as it is my beer of choice with Mexican food.
"Do you fancy a game of pool?" I asked.
"Oh go on then" came the reply.
"How about doubles Mark? Me and Chris against you and Eleni?"
"Okay"

On another side note, since this incident I have read MES' autobiography in which he claims that during his early 20's him and a friend would go to various pubs and working men's clubs in Manchester and hustle punters playing pool, claiming this would boost his paycheck.


Well let me say that I was always a very average pool player, I've had my moments where I've hit some great shots, but on the whole I am a pretty poor player. Well compared to MES I am Paul Newman in 'The Color of Money' he was pretty dire. Me and Chris beat them 2-0 and things got so bad that MES asked if we could switch partners.
"What, me and Eleni against you and Chris?" I asked.
"No, me and you against your mate and the wife"
I had to chuckle at that one.
We never did take Mark up on his kind offer of partner swapping. It sounded seedy and very 1970's. Orange formica, brown shag rugs, car keys in the ashtray, spangles, chipboard,Smith's crisps salt n' shake, Vimto and all that.

This kind of sounds like I am having a go at MES a bit, but nothing could be further from the truth. Mark and Eleni were absolutely charming, both really friendly and chatty and great company. They made you feel like you had known them forever, which is kind of the opposite you'd expect given his reputation.
We had a good chat about football as Mark is a fellow Manchester City fan. We spoke about how dire City were as they usually were (and then some) back then. And this was just prior to the World Cup in France when future MCFC manager Sven Goran Eriksson was at the helm. He had just picked Theo Walcott and left Jermaine Defoe and other fowards back in England.
"I don't trust the cunt, he's up to something Andy" opinioned Mark wisely.
I nodded in agreement, what else can you do when you are in the presence of a true Mancunian genius?


Anyone for Svennis?

We also talked about Mick Middles who had just written a bio on Mark and The Fall.
"He's just a cunt from Stockport Andy" he said, then added.
"Me Mam gave him loads of pictures to use in the book. Pictures of me Dad in the army and all that. The fucker never gave her them back, she's dead upset. He's just a cunt from Stockport Andy"
Again I found myself nodding in agreement, I had no way of validating MES' claims, but he's in my top 3 idols, possibly my favourite. I did rather enjoy the Mick Middles book, but Mark's statement soured me on it a little.
Mark and Eleni stayed and chatted with us for about an hour, then they excused themselves politely in order to get ready for the gig.
He did seem a little drunk, but that's rock and roll and Mark E Smith for you.
The show was brilliant despite being the new line up's second gig. We watched them again a couple of nights later and they were already better, then they finished the tour back in L.A. a couple of weeks later and the band was really tight. It was like they had played together for years. MES must have agreed as he kept the line up together for at least a couple of years.
As far as meeting my idols this one ranks up there with the best of them. Mark and Eleni were lovely and genuine people, I seem to remember them giving us a hug when they left us, maybe I made that bit up, I was a bit giddy.
When we saw them play at the Knitting factory two nights later Eleni spotted us and gave us a big grin of recognition, Mark was last on stage, looked down, saw us......nothing. I was a bit gutted, still don't know if he didn't remember us or was just playing it cool. Either way, I wouldn't expect anything less from MES or even want it.
MES over Morrissey any day of the week.


MES, a Mancunian legend and true gent, just don't tell anyone as he has a reputation to uphold.

LA Galaxy away days: Vancouver WhiteCaps and Portland Timbers.

Mark had earned a couple of free flights with South West Airlines earlier in the year and said we should use them for a Galaxy away game. After plenty of deliberating and changing our minds a couple of times, our final choice came down to Vancouver and Portland. The games were only a few days apart and it would be do-able if our friend in Seattle could accommodate us for a few days. We asked and naturally Fergal was only too happy to put us up and come to the games with us.
I've said it before, but Wedding Present fans tend to be among some of the nicest people in the world.
Obviously this was great and exciting news and pretty much gave me something to look forward to for the past few months in my usually mundane life.

The trip finally came around, I literally felt like a kid waiting for Christmas. After a long and tedious journey we were met by Fergal at Seatac.
It was pretty late, but seeing Mark and I were famished, Fergal took us for a kebab and devoured it at his place and them washed down with several bottles of lager.
We got up pretty early the next morning, drove up to the Canadian border, stopping for a photo op after being interrogated by the border gestapo.
Thankfully I had remembered to bring my passport and green card with me this time and so avoided the 5 hour lecture and anal probe.
Fergal found our hotel without getting lost despite the handicap of having me as a co-pilot. The hotel was actually quite nice and managed by possibly the nicest and most helpful bloke in the world, it didn't hurt that his receptionist was as fit as a butcher's dog either.





After downing a few beers from our cooler (We always travel with one, just in case) we decided to get "oot" and "aboot" and have a bite to eat and while wandering around aimlessly we found ourselves outside a pub called Oscar's. We were stood there waiting to cross the road when some of the occupants had noticed our Galaxy shirts and pounded on the window in order to get our attention. They were Whitecaps fans and one of them came outside and invited us in.
"Will we be alright? Nobody will give us any shit?" I asked
"You'll be fine" he replied.
This guy turned out to be called Matt and he was right, nobody really paid us much attention and those that did either thanked us for coming in or just wished us luck (but not too much) for the game.
This place was the hang out of one of the Whitecaps supporters groups, the Southsiders, who were very gracious except for when they tried to sell me a t-shirt for $25.
WTF??? $25????
ACB shirts cost $10 and the Galaxian shirts were only five bucks.

We had a few pints and ate lunch, Mark and me had the fish and chips and Fergal had the veggie burger. The food was good, the beer was reasonably priced for Vancouver and our bar mates were very friendly.

We finally got to the stadium after a brief stop off at the hotel for another beer and found our seats. There was a total of about 25 to 30 Galaxy fans sat in our vicinity. Quite a few of them I recognized from home games, mainly Riot Squad, a couple of ACB, some "regular" Galaxy fans and Landon Donovan's sister.





The stadium filled to capacity and they announced that it was their record crowd for an MLS game. Quite strange that as already this season Mark and I have been in record crowds at Real Salt Lake and San Jose Earthquakes. Most sensible MLS fans would put this down to extra tickets being sold because of Beckham and Donovan, but I'd like to think it was the fact that they somehow knew the Simi Valley Galaxians (Me and Mark) were coming.
Anyway the game kicked off and for the first 20 or so minutes it was all one way traffic with the Whitecaps in control. Luckily they didn't have much in the way of forwards and squandered a few chances and slowly the Galaxy gained the upper hand forcing ex-G's keeper Joe Cannon into making a couple of great saves to stop us being 2-0 up at half time.
Juan Pablo Angel was as shit as ever, I don't like to bad mouth Galaxy players these days, but he really is fucking garbage.
After we went 1-0 up thanks to a world class finish by Landon, Arena finally saw sense and brought Cristman on for JPA. Cristman is a bit of a lumbering, built like a brick shithouse type, but he was instantly involved, mixing things up and making life awkward for the Whitecaps back four.
We were soon awarded a pk when a Vancouver defender handled the ball under hardly any pressure, Landon tucked it away to put us 2-0 up.
We put the points in the bag when Landon raced onto a through ball and drilled a low pass to Franklin on the back post for the third. Cue dozens and dozens of Canadians heading for the exits. In the last minute Cristman was rewarded for his hard work when Cannon and his defenders couldn't clear the ball and he headed in a looping effort.
We took a bit of abuse from the natives and one dick asked Mark why he supported the Galaxy if he was English.
"Because I live in Los Angeles you twat" replied Mark.
"Well you should move here, to British Columbia, you'd like it better"
Jesus fucking wept!!!!!
Yeah, you can keep Vancouver and your $9 pints my friend.
We were held back and given an escort out of the stadium, where upon we were informed by the locals that the Galaxy sucked, we sucked and our shirt sponsors Herbal Life sucked.
Canadian wit in its highest form, eh!!!!

The next day we got up, packed our gear, loaded up the car and strolled back to the stadium in order to watch the reserve match.
We found seats behind the galaxy bench and were greeted by the Galaxy reserve coaching staff and players, goalkeeping coach Ian Feuer upon seeing our 'Simi Valley Galaxian' banner came over and asked if we were really from Simi Valley. We told him we were and he informed us that he lived in nearby Agoura Hills and chatted to us for a while, which was really nice of him.




Bruce Arena and Dave Sarachan sat directly behind us a few rows back, we didn't bother them as they were there in a working capacity.
Straight from the kick off with Chris Birchall as captain, the Galaxy reserves kind of dominated their Canadian opponents. We were 2-0 up midway through the second half and should have added a couple more, then Paolo Cardoza played a couple of one twos and was chopped down in the 18 yard box. The referee waved play on and of course the Whitecaps took the ball down the field and instantly pulled one back.
This gave them a bit of a lift and they really started pushing for another which came 10 minutes before the end.
The game ended 2-2 which was probably a bit disappointing from the Galaxy stand point, but it was a decent game anyway, played before about 50 spectators in the same stadium that had 27,000 watching less than 24 hours before.
I was going to ask Bruce Arena for a picture after the game but he had snook off round the back, which I thought was a bit piss poor to be honest. You think he'd have the good grace to at least walk by the 3 Galaxy fans in attendance and at least say "Hi" or just nod in our direction.
Oh well, I got a picture with assistant coach Dave Sarachan, then we chatted with Chris Birchall and took a few snaps with him. He was actually cool as fuck and pretty candid when we asked him about a certain team mate of his. We gave him a bit of stick about his mate Robbie Williams (As you do) and with that we headed back to the car and set off on our drive back to the USA to get the fuck out of The People's Republic of Canadia.





The journey wasn't really up to much, we stopped and did some shopping and then nearly died crossing the bridge out of Vancouver.
Seriously, we nearly died when some Frank Black look-alike driving an 18 wheeler truck decided to change lanes right into the side of poor Fergal's Audi, thankfully we survived. We were very shaken up and Fergal's car despite suffering $7000 worth of damage was drive-able so we made it home without much of a delay.
Anything could have happened, we could have died, the tires could have all blown out, the airbags could have all gone off. Either one of those would have made our drive home virtually impossible, especially the former.
Like I said, this fucker was the double of Frank Black of the Pixies and spent the entire time giggling like a schoolgirl while exchanging insurance information with Fergal. I know some people tend do giggle or laugh when they are nervous but this inbred Canadian redneck was a little too much for me and I had to walk away a couple of times for fear of throttling the cunt.
In my opinion he was probably stoned, I don't want to sound bitter but hopefully his bosses fired him as the next lot could be a family of five with small kids who might not get lucky and walk away without a scratch.


"Sorry guys, that was totally my fault ha,ha, ha...... are you all ha, ha, ha... okay??? You're up here to watch soccer?? Ha, ha, ha...... I stopped watching when Vinnie Jones retired ha, ha, ha..... I wanna live in Los Angeles, ha, ha, ha..... I am the son of a mother fucker, ha, ha, ha.... Have a safe journey back to California, PMSL"

WANKER!!!



In between our footy trips our stay in Seattle was fairly low key. We visited the kebab house again as it was ace. Visited the local dive bar (The Reservoir Bar) where we stayed for 10 hours, went for a wander in downtown Seattle and I also made my 'famous' veggie pasties in Fergal's non-meat eating honour.










The day of the Portland game, we booked into the hotel and Fergal and I went for a wander around town while Mark rested due to an upset stomach (Blame the beer, not the pasties). I haven't been to Portland to explore for over 15 years and I must say it really has changed for the better. It was a bit of a dump before, but now it is a thriving city with bars and restaurants everywhere and interesting little shops on every street. We checked out the Dr Marten store and then did a lap of the Timbers stadium.







When we returned for the game I was even more impressed, the streets were full of their fans, it was a sea of green and white. Just like in Vancouver, the home fans were very friendly and welcoming. The stadium was rocking and while our seats were nosebleeds, it still was a decent view.
We were joined at the game by my old friend and ex-Casuals FC legend Andy Rolland and his girlfriend Stacy, unfortunately some miserable bastards moved them from next to us so they could sit in "their" seats. (Wankers!!!!)
The less said about the game the better. Juan Pablo Angel was horrible again, we were 2-0 when he was subbed, too little, too late. We had a couple of good chances early in the second half and for a brief time you thought "We might just make a go of it" of course it never happened and to their credit Portland never let us settle on the ball and were well deserving of the 3-0 final score.
Obviously I was upset about the manner we lost that game, but the Portland Timbers, their fans, stadium and fantastic surrounding area are a very welcome addition to the MLS.
To cut a long story short, we went back to the hotel, had a couple of pizzas, a few more beers, then to bed and back up at 5am. We drove back to Seattle and after a couple of flights via Sacramento and Burbank finally got back in Simi Valley exhausted at 5pm.
It was a great week and my thanks go out to Fergal and Mark for making it happen and all the lovely people we met along the way.