Friday, May 1, 2009

Salt and Lineker indeed


During the summer of 1986 the year of the World Cup Finals in Mexico, I found myself working at Granada Birch Services in Middleton, Manchester.
Back then Granada Services would hold an annual footy 5 aside tournament, consisting of one or two teams from each regional branch in the UK.
I signed up during a bout of boredom on the late shift and before I knew it a few of us were "bundled" into the back of a van and driven up to a "secret" location for the tournament in Carlisle.
The footy was a bit redundant to be honest, we lost in the final via a penalty shoot out, not the highlight of my footballing career to be honest.
The real point of my story is a blister...... yeah a blister.
You see during the tournament I picked up a blister about 3 inches wide on the ball of my foot.
Obviously it was really painful, but I tried to grin and bear it and play on.
After the third game I'd had enough and pulled my sock off in order to check out the damage and to my dismay a large chunk of skin fell out of my sock and onto the dressing room floor.
For reasons unknown I picked up the skin and put it on top of the radiator in the dressing room and then carried on playing.
After the final I went back to get changed, noticed the skin, I picked it up and inspected it.
By now it was completely dried out and a bit crispy, I was fascinated and stuck it into my coat pocket.
We then made our way to a local pub for an after tournament buffet. It was the usual pub crap, cheese and salmon paste sandwiches and bowls of crisps.
I was a bit drunk, grabbed some sarnies and then chucked my dead chuck of skin into one of the bowls of crisps (cheese and onion I think).
I know this sounds really disgusting, but if you think that was bad, I went back later on and the bowl was completely empty.
Some poor bastard had eaten it with a handful of Golden Wonder's finest.
I just hope the poor fucker wasn't a vegetarian.
Anyway it was pretty much the one and only time I was eaten and not present.

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